Ashley (on the phone): I’m on my way to the gym. Want to meet me there?
Meredith: I can’t. I’m going to watch Big Brother 8 and eat ice cream straight out of the tub.
Ashley: And you’re hoping Shaun will booty call you later.
Meredith: That, too. Besides, I don’t have to go to the gym. Guys love my curvy figure.
Ashley: Those curves will eventually be rolls, Meredith.
Meredith: Yeah, but by then I’ll be married.
Ashley: I’m not the marrying type.
Meredith: You’re a girl, aren’t you?
Later, at the gym
Kyle (to himself): That chick is really hot. Her tits aren’t great but her face is gorgeous.
Ashley (to herself): I hate this fucking leg machine. Can’t they point it toward the wall so I don’t have to flash my camel toe at everyone?
Kyle (to himself): I wish women would work out naked. I want to go say something to her but I don’t want to be obvious about it.
Ashley (to herself): Oh, great. That guy over there is checking me out. I’ve got sweat running down my face and my hair is stuck to my forehead and he’s still checking me out. I hope he doesn’t come over here.
Kyle (to himself): Hey, look! The machine next to her just opened up.
Ashley (to herself): Oh, shit. The machine next to me just opened up.
Kyle: I’m going to use the machine right next to you, but I’m not going to make eye contact. That way you won’t feel like I’m being overtly flirtatious in the gym.
Ashley: I know exactly what you’re doing and I don’t like it.
Kyle: You’re even prettier up close. I’m more nervous than I expected.
Ashley: Five more reps and I’m out of here.
Kyle: I don’t really care how many reps I do. Whenever you finish I’m going to pretend I’m finished, too.
Ashley: Okay, I’m off to the treadmill. Please don’t talk to me.
Kyle: So where are you off to now? I’m new at this gym workout stuff.
Ashley: It’s pretty obvious you don’t work out much. I’m going to run on the treadmill. Please don’t follow me.
Kyle: Hey, I was about to run as well. I’ll follow you over there.
Ashley: Look, I come here to stay in shape, not meet people.
Kyle: So you come here often, then?
Ashley: Hey, look. There’s only one treadmill open. Guess I’ll catch you later!
Kyle: What a bitch.
Ashley (to herself): Thank God he’s gone. Now I can work out in peace.
Ashley (to herself): Oh, no, the woman next to me is leaving! Please don’t go! Now that creepy guy is going to take her place. Damn it!
Ashley glares at Kyle before she realizes it isn’t Kyle.
Jack: Hi, I’m Jack!
Ashley: OMG! You’re gorgeous! Are you a model for Men’s Health?
Jack: I like that angry look in your eyes.
Ashley: I don’t have on any makeup! My hair is stuck to my forehead! I look awful!
Jack: You seem confident. I like that. When you’re done, I’ll probably suggest we go for a trail run on Thursday.
Ashley: I will totally say yes. And on Thursday I will look better than this, I assure you.
Jack: Can I have your number so I can call to confirm?
Ashley: Of course you can!
Kyle, from across the room: What a bitch.