ROB: So, it’s been fun chatting with you on IM the past few days. Would you like to grab some dinner this weekend?
NATALIE: This weekend? It’s already Wednesday. Don’t you think I have weekend plans by now? How rude!
ROB: We’ve been on IM for sixteen hours over the past three days. I thought it might be nice to meet you in person.
NATALIE: You clearly don’t understand the rules. What is it with men these days? Dating is just so crazy in this postmodern world. Whatever happened to chivalry?
ROB: Okay, well. What do you think about next weekend?
NATALIE: You get a point for persistence. But you also seem desperate now, which is -2. Besides, I have plans next weekend.
ROB: Let’s just forget it.
NATALIE: Give up awfully easy, don’t you? I can tell I’m driving you crazy. I do that to men sometimes.
ROB: I would never have guessed.
NATALIE: Tell you what. I’m meeting a fan (I mean friend) for lunch on Saturday afternoon, I have a first date on Saturday night, and I’m working on my novel all day Sunday. But I could squeeze you in on Friday night!
ROB: At this point I’m having second thoughts, but I guess I’ll give it a shot. My other option is to stay home and watch “The O.C” in frame-by-frame so I can find the best Rachel Bilson cleavage shots.
NATALIE: Great! Then it’s a DATE!
ROB: I’ll pick you up at 7, then?
NATALIE: And let you know where I live? I think not! I’ll meet you there.
ROB: So much for chivalry. Okay, say we meet at Mahogany at 7:30.
NATALIE: You’re not even going to ask me what sort of food I like? Where I might want to go?
ROB: I thought women liked assertiveness. You want us to pick the restaurant, right?
NATALIE: Don’t be so self-absorbed! I’m seeing this more and more these days. Women want kindness.
ROB: At this point I’m only agreeing to see you for the sheer spectacle of the thing. Where would you like to go?
NATALIE: Mahogany sounds fine. But make it 8! I’m meeting someone for happy hour after work.
ROB: Okay. See you then.
NATALIE: And don’t text me too much in the days leading up the date! I don’t want to be suffocated.
ROB: You don’t have to worry about that.
NATALIE: But don’t neglect me. If you can’t make time for a woman you just asked out, why are you even going on the date?
ROB: Believe me, I’m asking myself that very question right now.
NATALIE: Don’t be late! Frankly, I’m so tired of men who let me down.
ROB: Are you on a loop or what?
NATALIE: See you Friday! I can’t wait to finally meet you in person!!!!11