Richard à clef

Recently I wrote a novel. Well, I didn’t write the whole thing recently, but I did recently finish it, and by finish I mean I’m waiting to hear from my agent if he likes it or not. He’ll suggest changes and so will an eventual editor, so it’s not really “finished.” In...

The Customer is Irrelevant: Another Life in Retail

When I was 19 I took a job at Sears, Roebuck, and Co. The company was named after Richard Sears, Alvah Roebuck, and Bad Company (the English rock supergroup). If you’ve ever wondered who Roebuck was, I can tell you (according to Wikipedia) that the name came from...

No One Likes It When You Use Vulcan Logic

I remember quite clearly, when I was 10 or so, a television commercial for Tylenol. The message went something like this: “Extra Strength Tylenol has more pain-relieving medicine than Regular Strength Bayer Aspirin.” I was only 10 years old. I shouldn’t have even been...

Experiments in Honesty, Volume 2: At the Gym

Ashley (on the phone): I’m on my way to the gym. Want to meet me there? Meredith: I can’t. I’m going to watch Big Brother 8 and eat ice cream straight out of the tub. Ashley: And you’re hoping Shaun will booty call you later. Meredith: That,...